Monday, January 14, 2013

Nobody Notices

One funny thing we have realized since the surgery is that nobody notices Mr Boy (aside from the curly blonde hair comments)! We just blend right in, in public.  There aren't the constant stares. I no longer have to get into long conversations in the check-out line with the well-meaning cashier or in the aisles with kind fellow shoppers about how their brother's cousin's nephew had a feeding tube and how they are much better now, so Mr Boy will be just fine. I never wanted to dump the details on people, so I became the queen of the "smile and nod." No biggie... Just smile and nod, smile and nod... :)

On some levels, the tube was nice for public interactions. When Mr Boy was crazily scared of people and would cry out when touched by anyone, the tube brought understanding. When we were on air planes and Mr Boy screamed (like any other kid), people just felt sorry for us and would give us those sympathetic nods. No one is mad at parents of a medically fragile child, so we were thankful for the tube in awkward public situations. :) We will probably tape the tube to his face for our next flight just in case he misbehaves. jk.

Now Mr Boy looks perfectly "normal" to the average passerby. That is fun for us and for him especially as he gets older. Kids on the playground would stop in their tracks and stare and whisper. Part of me will miss hearing all the cute questions from curious, well-meaning kiddos and seeing the look on their faces as they attempted to grasp the fact that Mr Boy didn't eat through his mouth, but that we sent his milk through the tube down to his tummy. That had to be a mind-blower. I didn't mind educating the kids on the playgrounds or stores, but now that Mr Boy is getting old, it's perfect timing for them to no longer notice he is different. I know "different" is in style these days, but I don't think the elementary age kids feel the same affinity for other kids who are "different."  It should be ok to be different, but we all know that it rarely is and nobody wants their kid to be bullied.  Of course Mr Boy could be perfectly "normal" and still get made fun of for wearing a yellow shirt or having curly hair, or any other silly reason kids are mean.  But I would hope if that happened for any reason, it would make him a compassionate, more empathetic boy who fights for justice and good.  I hope that whether he chooses to hide his differences, or share them with the world, that he would be confident and content in who he is and who God made him to be.  I want to shield Mr Boy from all possible pain or hurt and pray he will walk fully "normal" one day too, but even if this never happens, "we know that suffering produces perseverance;perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." (Romans 5:3-5)   And because of that we can rejoice!

1 comment:

  1. Love the pics. I continue to stand in awe of the miracle of Asher...and in both of you! I enjoyed chatting with you at lunch yesterday. Blessings to you all!